Well, Daggum! It's been a long time since I've posted. I've been real busy and I missed time at work because I was sick. I'm back now and things are goin' good. Christmas was fun, my Mom's side of the fam. came over on Christmas Eve, and we all ate dinner and opened presents and watched movies.* Christmas day, I helped with getting all the Santa stuff ready for the kids. We all just kinda relaxed for the rest of the day. Sunday we went to the wild animal park. It was really fun, I hadnt been there in a long time. Work is running alot smoother than I expected. I think things will play out ok with the whole work situation.** But, yeah I think it's definitely been a good week or so, despite being sick. And now, I gotta find something to do today, since there is no cell group today. Oh yeah!, I'm a headin to Knotts berry farm on friday, YEAH!WHAT!OK!, that should be pretty cool. I'm lookin forward to it, even though I was kinda split on what I wanted to do that day, because there is something going on at the church i wanted to go to. But hey, maybe next year. Well thats it for today. I'm all typed out penguins werent made to type.(no fingers)

Take care Y'all

Signed, "The Chris"

* White Chicks is hilarious you should watch that movie if you get a chance.

** If it doesn't work out, well then I'll see you on the corner when Im beggin for hamburgers.

Well, Yee-Haw! The days are just truckin along. It's starting to be all christmassy around here now. I'm kinda feelin the whole thing, and I'm also kinda not. It would be easier, but work is a constant thorn in my side. I'm taking a vacation at the end of december through beginning of January though, so I can have 6 days of not worrying. How nice it will be. A cheerful note of all that is, that I will actually get paid for the time that I'm on vacation. And to make it that much sweeter, me and Eugene are going on a trip to mexico for that weekend. From the friday night to the Sunday night. then I'll have monday, tuesday, wednesday to rest. I am so happy about this, because I have been so stressed. I'm so ready for my time off, I dont think I'll be able to sit still. But anywho, I'm fixin to get back to work, before my boss comes in here. (Scary) But, yeah. Take Care, y'all

Signed, "The Chris"

P.S. YEAH!WHAT!OKAY!!!!!!!

well, BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!!!!!!!!

I feel good, man, lets start with bent 180. It went so unbelievably good, It started out pretty usual, but when we were gettin closer to the start, and we had a prayer--things got really, i dont even know what to call it. But its a good craziness Ive felt and have been feeling since that day. It was something unlike anything I had ever felt before. And I was just so excited, I ran to tell people as soon as it was done. I told Aiko, Stanimal, Cj, Eugene, Eva, and even some girl i didnt even know! It was Wicky Wild, Ever since then its been different too. Today for instance, things started terrible and got worse as the day progressed, but im not stressin it. Its not drivin me off the walls, like before. I think Ive been seeing things differently, before it was like a kid who needed glasses but didnt wanna wear 'em. Now im sportin some black frame specs and lovin it!!!! Woo-hoo! The glasses instance werent a good enough example but it was an easy comparison. Each day Im learnin something new, about myself and the others around me. I mean the stuff im wrapping my head around is just so unbelievable to me to be thinking like that, it's tripping me out. But in a good way. Man, I dig it. Its so beyond words for me. If its beyond words for me,  It must be pretty wild. I mean i always have something to say about something and now im just simply at a loss, not like when your shocked and scared, but simply speechless. its good. God is good.

Signed, "the Chris"

Ok, folks don't sweat. Tings are gettin better mon. I was stressed, can't quite say im un-stressed right now, but definitely feeling better. I still have a lot of things swirling in my brain that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I have to Thank the "Stanimal", because tuesday's message during cell group was somehow custom tailored for me. I dont think he knew, but it was. It definitely helped, still hard for me, but helping. But anyways, a look into the future..........Tommorrow is Bent 180, it shall be good. I am kinda nervous, cuz I'm gonna get up in front of a bunch of people I dont know. But if you know me, you know I'm the kind of person to just dive in when "it" starts to get thick, so we will see how it goes. But anyways, Aiko don't worry I haven't lost my mind, and you're right, now is the time to get closer to god, and please believe i have been, and plan on continuing. Thanks to you too Aiko, by the way. Thanks to all the homies, you know who you are. I'm tired cuz it's late and I have a long day tommorrow, so good night to all, and to all a good night.

Take Care Y'all

Signed, "the Chris"

P.S. Penguin I am still, and frollick I shall.  

I dont have my "book" with me so I'll just put my thoughts here.

Well, Since Monday, work has just been a blast! I'm not too sure how to convey sarcasm in writing, but you may have got the point. The 9-5 has got me down, it's the same old stuff, day in day out. I don't have much to look forward to at home either. Mom's always yelling, there's always something negative flying out of someones mouth at somebody at any moment. Take your pick of combinations on that one. Tired and want to go somewhere else until I find some peace, (sleep) but even that doesnt come easy. One of my few comforts, so unattainable, every night. It's become so out of reach, where my comfort is so far from a reality, that I hate the thought of it. It bothers me not to care, but thats where I find myself, In a place of not caring. Not neccessarily not caring about anything specific, but not caring about anything and everything, and not caring that I dont care. And that makes me feel bad, because my friends tell me things, come for advice and I just dont have it in me right now. Church, has been a great ray of hope(no pun intended, but Its so freakin hard to try and be a "good" guy now, when there are so many bad habits to break. And I really am trying hard, but It's frustrating. "Frustrating", a word so easily applied to so many facets of my life right now. I'm just so tired. Tired from lack of sleep, tired from life. You know, in case you havent figured it out yet, life is a kick in the face sometimes,and not just a kick that hurts a little  but the kind that doesnt stop. Those of you that know me well might be thinkin, "wow, chris sounds depressed or upset", but no, youve just entered the journal of the chris. These thoughts have been floating here for a while, just like me. Floating.Well, I never sign my journal entries, so this is it. Actually, another thought, I know I shouldnt be whining and complaining, I should give thanks under all circumstances but I think if i were to try and give thanks right now it would just be going through the motions, and I think that God deserves better than that. Its times like this where i just wish i had a shell i could hideout in to wait it out. To hibernate. To stop floating for a second and rest. Why not? Well, because life is a kick in the face. And it will move on without you if you let it, so I'll keep my happy face on so nobody worries. And, well, I'm all tapped out.

Dated:November 24, 2004

Time: 5:07 P.M.